March has been incredibly difficult for me, and I am very grateful it's almost over. I have struggled against depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, and impulses to self-harm...
And God has been here with me every step of the way. Every panic attack, every time I cry myself to sleep, every self-doubt- all of it. And when I was at my lowest God sent me angels - from both sides of the veil- to comfort me.
God sent me Carter to give me hope of a future worth staying alive for.
God sent me Tessa to take away my scissors.
God sent me my dear mother to send me funny memes and inspirational quotes, and to stay up talking with me until four in the morning.
God sent me Caroline to make sure I was okay when I was crying at midnight.
God sent me Lauren to get me out of the house.
God gave me a bishop, and teachers, and a wonderful therapist to be voices of guidance in the darkness.
God sent my angel grandmother to watch over me, to protect me from myself when no one else could be there. She gave me the strength to throw my razor blade across the room. She gave me the strength to pray.
Satan is trying his very hardest, but he will not win. At the beginning of March, I went to my bishop and told him I felt like I didn't have a great support system. I realize now that I have always had an immense support system, but I can't see (or even comprehend) even a fraction of it. I will not let Satan win, not after God has sent me so many angels.
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